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Buzzfeed annals of online dating

In the real world, talking about marriage with a potential love interest is tricky territory. Because these men clearly have excellent judgment, they also send nearly identical marriage messages to dozens of women. Think about the children. Earlier this week, we learned how online pickup artists worked. Here are some examples of how its disciples have actually approached girls online.


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Inspired by the book The Game , and later by a painful VH1 show featuring a man who wore goggles as a headband, PUAs are men who almost universally suffer from some combination of hostility toward women, social awkwardness, basic idiocy, feelings of entitlement, over-sized egos, and under-sized self-awareness among, um, other under-sized things sometimes.

In the world of internet dating, PUAs tend to rely almost exclusively on one of their favorite real-world tactics: The purpose of the neg is to make a "target" — what PUAs sweetly call women they want to bang — feel a little bit bad about herself so that she lowers her standards enough to respond to the PUA. Ambiguous insults, like, "Nice nails. Here's a message one girl received from a budding PUA:. This PUA is clearly new. The point of the neg is to be vaguely insulting, not a flame-throwing asshole.

There's a special kind of person on internet dating sites who isn't just there to find love or sex , but who wants to work out their Ann Landers fantasies on unsuspecting users. That is, instead of just sending or responding to a message, they send advice. Lots of advice, about what's wrong with your profile, about how your message was insufficient, about how your picture is bad. Now don't get me wrong -- clearly, I enjoy criticizing online dating messages and profiles more than the average bird.

I understand the impulse to respond to a person's message with an explanation of what they're doing wrong, because so many people do so many things wrong. But responding directly to a profile with unsolicited criticism unless they've done something totally offensive , in which case, hate on haters is just plain rude. You seem to be a generic person.

When you write to someone, you should explain why exactly you want to meet them.

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I think you should start making more of an effort with other people or you will never find anyone to settle with. You will just be going from one guy to the next like every other seedy gay. I told you something which is so true. Try to alter your ways and treat guys with a bit more respect. Below, more men whose dating videos are sweet, funny, or just plain strange. These gentlemen are ranked below in rough order of dateability least to most , but your views may differ.

BuzzFeed - Buzz Tagged Online Dating

Cast your vote in the comments. This fellow seems unhealthily obsessed with STDs and his own salacious thoughts: Are you not-white and on the internet dating tip? Prepare for some skeevy racial fetishizers. We all have types — I personally prefer tall, extraordinarily handsome gentlemen who are brilliant, hilarious, kind, ambitious and have nice teeth.


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We all have our things. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with finding a particular Asian woman or a particular black man attractive.

Three cheers for interracial relationships! And these folks use Match. That kind of slightly dehumanizing rhetorical trick is usually reserved for talking about non-white people, so I appreciate what you did there. You should make friends with this next guy, who used this line on OKCupid:. I am interested in meeting an Asian. You are pretty, and would like to meet you. Can we get to know each other?

Ah yes, using OK Cupid to achieve your life goal of meeting an Asian [sic]. It is hard, with all the Asians getting salty when you hang out with them and just want to talk about Asian stuff , like how cool Asia is and how hot Asians are and how pretty you are, young lady, being that you are an Asian. Especially all the Asian parts of you. Up for a kung fu movie and some sushi?

Or maybe just some sexy kung fu, like this guy on Match. Nice Guys are an internet standard. To hear them tell it, they are very mistreated! They show up on blogs to complain about how women don't appreciate Nice Guys like themselves, because even though the Nice Guy is so very nice , women are too self-involved to see the Real Him.

The Nice Guy believes he is held back by his intense Niceness. And women date those actual nice guys! Nice Guys, of course, exist in real-world dating.

The internet, though, is Nice Guy paradise. Like this clearly very Nice man, who sent the following to a lady on one dating site:.

The Science of Online Dating

Try Adult Friend Finder. But the messages from Nice Guys are nowhere near as incredible as what they put on their profiles. Like this guy on OK Cupid who, it should be reiterated, is writing this on a dating site ostensibly in an effort to meet women:. My self-summary Had a lot written on this profile.

I give up on you chicks, I should have had a CAT scan performed on my head instead.

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Enjoy the shirtless assholes. Because nothing gets a young, single, fertile woman hot like mentioning pregnancy on OKCupid. When the baby-making urge kicks in, lots of people turn to online dating in an effort to date and eventually mate. I say, go for what you want! But selecting someone to make a baby with is slightly more complicated than perusing a few profiles, slipping it in and squeezing it out at least ones hopes.

And just because one is a lady and online does not mean that her ovaries start to quiver every time she gets a message. And for most single women, the prospect of getting pregnant tomorrow by a rando you met online is a potential consequence of sex that is slightly worse than chlamydia but marginally better than herpes.

Buzzfeed Animals Dating – No Interracial Dating

So while I appreciate straight-forwardness, it is a universally bad move to message a woman in order to inform her that you would like to get her pregnant. Also, if women pulled this shit — messaged complete strangers being like, "We would make such cute babies! And yet, my inbox is filled with messages from young ladies who've been approached by men offering up a nice egg-fertilizing sperminization.

Some, like this guy on Match. I want to impregnate you over and over again and then appreciate your intrinsic personality and caring nature. Like this OK Cupid gentleman:. I am slowly falling under the impression that you and I would probably make beautiful babies. I would also like to complete our family by buying a pet penguin and of course we shall live in a castle with only the finest of stallions! I think that would be awesome. A look at some of the slimey slime-balls who use OkCupid to cheat on their spouses with you.

Ever since human beings came down from the trees and decided that two-person monogamous sexual relationships were a good foundation for society, people have stepped out on those two-person monogamous relationships. Cheating is an old sin, but it adapts well to new mediums. So it's no surprise that lots of people use online dating platforms to cheat.

There are entire websites dedicated to helping cheaters find "discreet" partners I won't name them here, but apparently www. But not every scoundrel is willing to shell out the dough to use a website for cheaters. So they turn to OK Cupid, and unsuspecting users who are actually looking for real dates with available people are subjected to two-timing requests and entire profiles dedicated to philandering:.

While I'm sympathetic to unhappy marriages, the remedy for that is divorce, which is now legal in all 50 states.